Oh MAN!

There are times when I look to do the most embarrassing thing possible. "Why?!!" you might ask. I like to see people's reactions when embarrassing things, goofy things, things that, if they experienced them, might make them turn beet red and hide, happen to someone else (me). There are so many different reactions... from being ignored as a nuisance to someone doubling over, agonizing over the ab workout they're suddenly getting from laughing so hard. It's fun, for the most part, to make others smile.

There are also times, though, when I can be the one who wants to hide. Times of self-conscious indignation. Times of embarrassment for who I am. Times that I wish I was in New Zealand, either in a mountain stream on the South Island or on a rugby paddock busting knuckles and heads. There are times that I give much more thought to who I am around and what they might think of me than on simply doing what I need to be doing.

You might think that these "episodes" would come at places like the gym, while shopping for clothes, or even in an office setting or while teaching somewhere. The truth is, they don't. The truth is... they spring up out of nowhere. Different situations lead to me wanting to make the best possible impression. They're not always the same. In fact, they're rarely ever in the same situation. But, about once a week, some spontaneous episode of concern for what others might think weighs on me.

"Stop regarding man, in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?" (Isaiah 2.v.22)

There it is... the real way to look at what people think of me.